when becoming a mom scares you

A baby changes everything.

A baby puts you into labor. There is labor at its birth, labor in the long nights, labor in your soul.

A baby changes career paths, housing arrangements, timelines, and financial plans.

And then there's the difficult challenge of being wholly responsible for the survival, soul-growth, and future livelihood of another human being.

Back when children ensured our livelihood and the future of civilization, back before women had so many choices and opportunities in the marketplace, back before little girls grew up hearing that they could be whatever they chose and live however felt best, a baby was more of an inevitable part of life, and less of a terrifying possibility of losing some kind of opportunity.

But that is often different now.

While I am grateful that our modern society no longer values a woman based upon her ability to procreate, I mourn that we no longer seem to value all that motherhood can be for us.

Motherhood changes everything.

Motherhood puts your heart in a sling, forever broken for the sake of another.

Motherhood overwhelms your selfishness, undoes your self-sufficient tendencies, and brings you unbelievable joy as you learn to live for more than your own success.

Motherhood teaches you the blessing of ladybugs, the beauty of tiny hands, the happiness of a cup of coffee, and the wonder of childlike faith.

I can't imagine my life without these four whispers of God's mercy running around me all day.

I wouldn't want to.

Their births changed everything in my life. Seemingly permanent walls shifted in my soul, old dreams were set aside, and new dreams grew from the love I have learned in the dark hours, the difficult days, and the hidden place of service.

Some experiences in life prove scriptures true; motherhood proves 1 John 4:16-17, for Love has banished fear from my heart:

"God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.... There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

For the opportunity to mother, the grace to love them even when they act unloveable, the strength to cry out to God for help, and the courage to get up tomorrow and do it all again, I am eternally grateful.

Motherhood is not to be feared, it is to be revered. It is a holy work God does in us when He makes us mothers, and the blessing is truly ours to hold.