The Top 10 Ways Parenthood is Ridiculously Mysterious

The Bible says that Mary treasured the mysteries about her son Jesus in her heart. I often think of that when I am in the middle of a confusing, mind-boggling, soul-scraping moment of parenthood.

These relationships we have with our children are hard to figure out sometimes. 

Relating to the partially developed brains of toddlers; loving little people that don't really understand that you are a person too; helping a child to develop character for a future that no one really has a clue about; these are all very hard to do.

Life, put simply, is mysterious. But God is in it, and so we can treasure the gift of our days and years together as we prepare for that dark horizon called the future.

Here are ten of the biggest mysteries I treasure about parenthood:


10. That your children will punish you for having good sense and their best interest in mind. Yes, they really do want you to let them eat candy all day, wear only their swimsuit in a snow storm, pierce thirty body parts, and try out their homemade parachute down at the city bridge. Please don't let them, no matter how much they scream, pout, or argue. Treasure their youthful foolishness. Someday, it will make a great story at a wedding rehearsal.

9. That for most women, "natural" childbirth doesn't really come naturally. After the birth of our first son I told Mr. Fantastic that we should adopt the rest of our children. He was miserable during the experience, too. No man wants to helplessly watch his wife struggle. There is a reason there are so many serious classes available to pregnant women, and amazing doulas and midwives are generally involved in natural childbirth: it's a crazy hard and amazing thing to birth a baby. These days, when I look at pregnant women I envy them. After four incredible experiences I love birthing babies, discomfort and all.

8. Kids are happy to watch the same movie 27,358 times. You will one day be overjoyed when you find kid-appropriate movies that you don't mind watching that much. In fact, you will think there should be an Academy award for the best G-rated movie each year, that the entire Pixar Studio team is your new main celebrity crush, and you will shell out all the money necessary for 3D tickets every time Disney rereleases a classic in the movie theater.

7.The baby you could never imagine finding fault with will, at some point, seriously cause you to wonder if their sole goal in life is to make you crazy. There is no way to tell if that sweet, cooing, precious bundle of love will become your button-pushing, strong-willed, never-met-a-rule-he-didn't-like-to-challenge stinker. But even if he doesn't, you will have to potty train him, school him in the kindness of sharing, or teach him the value of hard work one day, and all of those things can be his moment to get inside your dome, too. Let the fun begin, baby! 

6. A day is coming that you will want to crawl back to your own parents and thank them for the simple gift of keeping you alive for the first 18 years of your life. It's a wonder any of us survive to adulthood. Obviously, babies require lots of care for survival. Toddlers try to doom themselves with their obsession for climbing up stairs when they haven't mastered climbing down them. Elementary age children find inexpressible joy when given the opportunity to run in busy parking lots. Teenagers like to drive while texting their friends, changing the song, eating a burger, and painting their nails. These young people need us!

5. That line your mother or father always said that made you so mad, will fly out of your mouth and you will suddenly know it was true all along. Such as, "The thing you lost didn't grow legs and crawl away, you know." Or, "Nothing good ever happened after midnight." Or perhaps, "It isn't washing your hands unless you use soap!" And when you say those blessed words that you found so ridiculous as a child, you will know that you have finally grown up.

4.  Kids treat life and relationships like Hollywood stunt men treat cars: the bigger the crashes and explosions...the better. Every experience you have had in conflict resolution with friends, roommates, store clerks, coworkers, your boss, and your spouse will come in handy when relating to your children. If you've avoided conflict resolution all these years, you won't be able to evade your children in the same way. Get ready to rumble.

3. Christmas morning is a bazillion times better when you are watching your own children open the presents you bought them. As a kid, it seemed crazy when your parents were happy with a new cardigan and a drill. And when your mom said all she wanted from Santa was for you to be happy, you never wanted to be an adult. But now, on Every Christmas Eve you will feel like the luckiest person you know, because you get to be Santa to the people you love most in the world. The joy on their faces when they open something they love will be enough to make that year Santa didn't bring you the Easy Bake Oven fade into the background.

2. Loving children is like loving a shadow, they're always there but you can never quite grab them for long enough. When they're little, you'll look forward to the day they are big so you can play football, take them shopping, and read them your favorite books. When they are big you'll miss the way they pronounced words like spaghetti (pa-smettie) and blueberry (booooo-brie), and you will long for the feeling of their tiny bodies all snug in your arms. It's a bittersweet road, but one none of us would probably change if we could, because every season has its joy.

1. It is easy to get lost in the life-changing, all-consuming, important role of "Mom" or "Dad". But you will continue to be "you" as the days roll into years. You will still have a life, full of purpose and potential after they have grown up and no longer need you to tie their shoes or drive them to their appointments. Children are not the end of our destinies, they are not the sum of our worth. But the lessons of parenthood, the joy of living others so deeply, and the blessing of family can mark our lives with God's greatness, and lead us into new seasons beyond this one.