when being a pastor's wife is like rice and beans

Wednesday was a pretty perfect day.

I spent it with my dear friend, Quinn. Towards the end of lunch, just before I had to hurry away to pick up the boys, I let my heart off its leash and told her what I feel:

"Being a pastor's wife feels like being rice and beans."

After I heard my own words I was struck with the veracity of my statement. Never before had I pondered this concept, and the more I thought about it, the more I recognized it explained a lot.

Rice and beans come with everything in a Tex Mex restaurant. You don't order them, they are always on the side.

Sometimes you are glad rice and beans are on your plate. You pour queso or creamy jalepeño on them and enjoy having them on your plate.

Other times, although you really expect them to be served, your fork never touches them. After you devour your enchiladas, you let the waiter carry those rice and beans away at the end of the meal, and you never think twice about them- unless they are horrible or rotten, in which case you probably will never come back.

You really never go to the restaurant for the express purpose of eating rice and beans. But in general you are glad they are there when you need them.

That's what it sometimes feels like to be married to a pastor. You are there because you naturally "come with" the man you married.

Sometimes people are glad you are there. They pour friendship on you, you pour it back, and you both are better for the relationship.

Other times, you are expected to be there, but you are barely noticed. People don't think twice about you as you pass by- unless you act horribly rotten, which really would be awful, and the people might never come back.

In all honesty, I don't mind not being noticed. I'm a girl who loves hiding just outside of the action. But it can be strange to float along through life next to you husband like this. This odd push-and-pull of expectations and reactions takes some getting used to, for sure.

I explained all of this to my friend Quinn.

Then she looked at me and, like the amazing friend she is, said, "Yeah, but you're not rice and beans. You're more like tableside guacamole."

I love my friend. Who doesn't want to be tableside guacamole? Tableside guacamole is unique and special, and goes beautifully with everything.

Sigh... yes, yes; yesterday was a pretty perfect day.