when the call is a grind

I stare up at the ceiling fan with my head on my pillow and focus.

Deep in my heart there is a grinding sound. I am trying to understand what it means.

It is the sound of my heart grinding itself down, looking for the deepest hopes and dreams and callings of God. I can hear the sound of His voice calling me, but I can't quite make out the words.

He has plans for us all that beckon to us in our ordinary days.

We are insignificant beings serving a significant God. Whenever we step out into His dreams for us, we are in unchartered territory.

Mr. Fantastic reads beautiful words beside me. Words written long ago by Elisabeth Elliot:

"Yet I find that events do not change souls. It is our response to them which finally affects us."

The call of God can grind the soul down. Labor is profitable, but tiring. Dreams require diligence. Tragedies are resolved with travail.

Pressing in to the grind I purpose in my heart to respond whole-heartedly. I still can't quite hear what God is saying, but I trust Him.

Even in unchartered territory we are safe when the light of His Kingdom guides us. There is no room for worry when we "...seek first His kingdom and His righteousness...".

Mr. Fantastic turns out the light and I close my eyes. Tomorrow the grinding will continue as my heart is smoothed and shaped for Him.

Tonight I rest.