the ten commandments (mom version)

Moses was a stud. I have even begun to think he would be able to empathize with the plight of motherhood. Particularly the times he was expected to feed masses of people, find everyone something to drink, pray for God to look past and forgive the disobedience of a lot of people, and try to get a group of people to just. keep. walking.

I also think that if a mom had been the one to deliver the ten commandments to the people, she would have given everyone God's version, and then a mom version. It would have been sort of like when we explain the rules in really small words with the specificity required to keep a child's attention.

If I had been that mom, this is how I would have broken it down:

1. Don't ever think anyone is better or more powerful than God. He is like the king of the super heroes, and if you like anything more than him, you can never be a super hero, and you will end up on the bad guys' team.

2. If you make something cool, don't pretend it's as cool as God. It's not. Nothing could ever be as cool as God.

3. Be careful when you say God's name. He doesn't like for it to be thrown around like something unimportant, because He's a really big deal, and so is His name.

4. Take one day off from working so hard. (Bonus lesson: You should be working hard, not hardly working!!!). Also, I would appreciate it if you could refrain from being difficult and contrary on that day so I can rest too, thanks.

5. You will live a lot longer if you treat me and your dad well. God says so. I'm not making this up!

6. Be kind to others- definitely no killing people. Mommy likes sweet children, and so does God.

7. Be careful who you marry, because you can't switch around. In fact, be sure to ask my opinion before you choose, moms are really smart about this stuff.

8. Keep your hands to yourself; don't take things that aren't yours. 

9. Don't lie. The truth always comes out in the end, so there's not much use in making up stories. Besides, God already knows the truth, and He usually tells the mom.

10. You get what you get and you don't pitch a fit. Wanting other people's things never ends well. Save yourself the torment and learn to be grateful for what you have.