for the love of homeschooling, just follow the instructions

When I said it was time for Spanish, one child apparently misheard me.

Clearly, he thought I said "It's on like Donkey Kong. I'm taking you down to Chinatown. Get ready, bring your best fight, I am about to own you."

"Spanish" apparently translates into the word "War" in kid-speak.

The instructions were clear:

"Sit on the sofa and repeat the Spanish vocabulary."

<Child flops on the floor, moaning.>

The instructions were repeated:

"Sit on the sofa and repeat the Spanish vocabulary."

<Child moans more loudly, thrashing arms and legs.>

Further definition was given:

"If you don't want to participate verbally, you can write the words out on paper. Your choice."

<Child hides face in the carpet and ignores me.>

I proceeded to do Spanish with the other children while he chose not to participate. When we finished five minutes later, I handed the list to my son-turned-opponent.

"Grab your pencil. Here's your list" 

This call to arms was more than he could bear, and he brought out the big guns, sobbing, accusing, blaming, screaming, completely losing all control.

He told me I couldn't make him do it, he wouldn't do it. I told him I was sorry he was having a hard time, and asked him to let me know when he was done so we could do the next assignment on his list.

Three hours later, after many more similar conversations and lots of sobbing, begging, and agony, he finished his list.

For the remainder of the afternoon he was sunshine and roses, smiling, offering me candy from his personal stash, doing extra work, and being generally a fantastic team player.

I tried not to think of the fact that all that drama could have been avoided if he would have just sat on the sofa and repeated twenty Spanish words. I refused my dark desire for him to feel guilty for choosing to be contrary just for the sake of contrariness, thereby putting our house in disorder for three hours.

Instead I chose to be grateful; grateful that we got all of our work done after all; grateful that he overcame his bad attitude; grateful that he made a wise choice in the end.

I also will continue to choose to hope that these days of struggle are teaching him the lesson of responsibility, faithfulness, and accepting our consequences.

In a way, I am glad he didn't just follow the instructions. We both learn a lot in these battles he declares.

And in the end, I won his heart, which is the most important battle of my life.