love scraps

Today I was casually informed by one of my sons that he has a crush. 

"Do you know what a crush is?" I asked.

"Yes. It's when you really, really like someone," he stated with bold assurance.

"That's right, but in a romantic way. You know, like you might be in love with them," I clarified.

"I know!" he joyfully smiled as I sat with my heart shredded to bits.

Then I did what every parent does when things outside of your control and beyond your scope of rationalization are dumped on the doorway of your heart: I pretended this never happened, and went about my business.

As I was stenciling a wall, washing dishes, and tying up loose strings from last week, Boy 3 (who only has a crush on me, thank the Lord!) kept bringing me pictures he had made for me. Pages and pages were brought, folded up like little gifts and deposited in my hand. 

With all this crush development, I know one thing for certain: I will keep these scraps of paper forever. 

I will keep them because some day he will not want to write, "I LOvE yOu MomMy! FroM JAsE" on a piece of white computer paper.

I will keep them because there may be a day in our future that he is really, really mad at me, and I will need to remember the scrawled out love declarations that flowed endlessly today.

I will keep them because he is supposed to love lots of things and people in his life, but for a few short years I get to top the list. 

I will keep them because these scraps of love are the glory days of motherhood. He knows my value, and he treasures me. All that hard unseen work and service of the baby and toddler age is over and he knows that I am pure awesomeness.

Crushes will come and go for these boys of mine. Even when they become distracted from my love, I will never stop loving them and I will woo their hearts back with all my might. I will write my love out on lunch box notes, put it in Christmas presents, sing it in lullabies, and dance my big love for them in the kitchen while they laugh at my killer moves.

This love I have is more than a crush, it's a calling. I was made to love them with God's everlasting love. It flows from a fountain that never dries up, never turns sour, always refreshes, and it is written all over the place for the world to see.

"I love you, sweet children! From Mommy."