broken pots and backward prayers

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33 (NIV)

Yesterday I prayed as I tidied up stray Legos, forgotten pencils, and empty coffee cups.

"Lord, empty me of my selfishness."

It was a prayer bobbing around in my tired mind, as I hungered for children who could better handle their responsibilities.

Minutes later a crash on the back porch signaled the destruction of one of my favorite potted plants.

Boy 3's eyes were cast downward as he explained, "I didn't know it would break if I hit it with my bike..."

This morning I held the hand of Boy 1. I stared down at that hand, now almost as big as my own and asked,

"Will you pray for Mama to have patience today?"

An hour later, halfway to school, Boy 2 quietly offers, "I don't have my backpack...."

I took a deep breath and turned around, subtracting twenty minutes from my time at the gym. He apologized and tiptoed into class, a bit tardy.

Some prayers are answered backwards.

We want easy answers and immediate solutions; He plants precious seeds of holiness.

When did we start this grubbing after God's instant blessing?

Was it from that first bite in Eden, when we hungered to be like Him, instead of holding close to Him?

Our definition of a good life makes it easy to forget that Jesus promised us we would have trouble in this world.

Peace isn't the absence of conflict, but the presence of God in the midst of our trials.

I traded a potted plant for the chance to show one son how to love someone more than something. Then I had the chance to show another son that forgiveness and patience are more important than time on the treadmill.

Maybe these two moments of trouble had little to do with my prayers about selfishness and patience. Perhaps they were more directly connected to the many times I have asked God to reveal Himself to my children.

Maybe God wants to reveal Himself to them in me. 

When I hold that as my highest aim, the patience flows and washes the selfishness away.  Suddenly, life is full of good things, and all my prayers are being answered....