Tuesday, August 4, 2015

a safe and biblical marriage

We are back from vacation, feeling rested, feeling loved, and sort of ready for the hectic days ahead in August. My mind is stuck on the memory of one day last week, when Mr. Fantastic and I got caught in a thunderstorm in the middle of vast park.

We were taking a break from real life, having a day for just the two of us: no kids, no phones, no email. We had walked and walked until blisters formed on our feet. The rain drove us under cover, and it was romantic for about an hour, clinging to one another under an umbrella as cars splashed by us. Then it was just cold and wet and slightly miserable.

He loves this kind of stuff. Me, not so much.

If I had my way, I would stay home, paint furniture, read books, drink coffee, be perfectly comfortable, risk nothing, and never know a single true adventure. But this man drags me along with him, giving me his love and the whole world to boot.

fake happy faces in the middle of the storm

I didn't marry someone who lets me get away with hiding from what life really is, from who I am, or from who I could become if I believed the truth about what God says about me. I leaped into love with the person who makes life worth living, and who thinks the wide world fits me perfectly.

This journey of love and marriage we are on is not easy or tame, but it is safe because God is with us.

A safe marriage isn't one that dares us to risk nothing. A safe marriage is one out there on the open sea of life, taking the waves courageously, and relying on only one true Lighthouse as a guide.

I could have married a man who thinks a woman should stay quietly behind him, or one who would keep me securely under his thumb. That would have been easier and harder all at the same time. I could have hidden in a man's shadow and let him be the lord of our little life. But I didn't choose that kind of man. I married this man, the one who takes me by the hand as we shove out into unchartered waters and prays for God to meet us in the waves.

God doesn't always show up when and how we expect, though. We seek a Light we can't always see, a shore beyond this world, and a holiness that a man and a woman are incapable of living without the blood of a perfect lamb. Our God sleeps soundly through tempests, He holds our brokenness as a treasure, and dares us to throw ourselves overboard into His grace and mercy when our wills conflict with His own.

Having a biblical marriage means we need the gospel more than we need air to breathe. Some days we are Samson and Delilah, and I want to cut the hair that makes my husband strong. Others we are both Davids- people born after God's own heart, living humbly and with enough courage to take a sling and a stone and conquer a giant. We often are Ruth and Boaz, living differently than society says we should, but wholly in the will of God. And many days we are the lover and the beloved, knocking on bedroom doors, passionately counting the ways our love offers a refuge for our wounded souls.

After the rain let up a little, we sloshed out of the park. We stopped at an ice cream stand for a chocolate cone. We could feel the tides of our responsibilities pulling us back out into deep waters, but we turned away from them and ignored the waves for just a bit longer.

Life is a complicated mixture of oceans to cross and mountains to climb and moments spent eating chocolate ice cream in the park that give us courage for the journey ahead. For a few more hours that day, we would walk a little slower and savor the sweetness.


  1. This was such an amazing read!! Perfect picture of this life we live together. Thank you for your words. -Meagan

  2. A number of us arte taking about how encouraging this post was. Thanks for sharing. We love you!