Monday, November 24, 2014

when a mama needs grace

He sat in front of me with sad eyes, bearing guilt and shame for telling me a small lie. Why do my kids think I won't find out? Maybe they know I will, but they simply can't help themselves.

Still, he was caught, and he knew it.

"I hate lying! Why did Adam have to disobey? This world is a terrible place," he waxed eloquent and dramatic for a kid who only fibbed a tiny bit.

These are the moments a mama has to decide what she really needs her son to know. The following were my options:
1. We can't blame every error on ancient relatives who passed along their broken humanity through the generations.
2. Mama ALWAYS finds out the truth. Don't even try to pull a fast one again, kiddo.
3. Yes, the world seems like a terrible place sometimes. But in the end, we have a Savior who redeems our worst mistakes, and His love gives us reason to rejoice.

I went for #3.

"Jesus said we would have troubles in this world, baby. And they do make it seem like a terrible place sometimes. But He also told us not to despair, because He has overcome the world. Jesus always comes for us when we call out to Him. But sometimes it takes longer than we like," I passed on the words that I have been using to woo my own heart recently.

Perhaps he understood it, perhaps he didn't. It's always so hard to tell what a child's soul has absorbed. Sometimes I wish I could see into the dark places of their hearts.

But to God, even dark things of this world are lit with His divine plan for redemption.

And even mamas need the hope of the gospel. Even grown-ups come to the end of their rope and look up to heaven and ask God the hard-soul questions that can usually be summed up this way: Why, God? How God? When, God?

Those are the moments a mama has to decide what she really needs to know. More specifically, the answer to all those questions can be summed up in one word: Who.

The One Who is love.

The One Who does reign.

The One Who is holding all things together by the power of His word.

For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. -Colossians 1: 19-20

All things have been reconciled to God through Christ's sacrifice.

Reconciliation and peace are the birthright of the children of God. For my children. For me. For my husband. For the world.

Late at night, I tiptoe into my children's rooms. I stare at their tender faces and I lay my hands on their backs, trying to absorb the assurance of their life and love.  Deep in my soul I find the concern for their futures, the trials of the day, and the fears that dangle in a mama's mind begin to melt away. Because I know Who holds them when I can't. And He is a great Reconciler, a loving Father, and One who works and wills all things for His good purposes.

 I say a simple prayer over the four lives He entrusted to me as a mother, and it is one name, the Word that reigns over all others, and it is the best gift I can ever give my children:


And then I go to bed. Tomorrow we begin again.

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