Wednesday, May 28, 2014

no more rearview mirror faith in the benevolence of God

"Arise, shine, for your light has come,
 and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you
and his glory appears over you."
-Isaiah 60:1-2

"If it had been a snake, it would've jumped out and bit ya."

That's what my dad used to say to me when I was young and couldn't find an important something-or-other. The sought-after prize was always right where I had looked, and yet I couldn't see it without his own hand to point it out.

It was true, if that thing had been a snake, my hand would have needed a bandage.

Gazing backward today, I see the days of the past were always full of troubles, and the nights often felt much too long, and far too dark. I looked and looked for hope and goodness but I never found any that could send my fear fully away when the darkness pressed in on me.

But all these days and decades later, God's hand is pointing it all out to me.

In Eve-like fashion, I always seemed too busy wondering how everything could possibly work out like God said it would to notice Him standing there holding a gift that would comfort me as I waited for His good plans to emerge.

So I took the bait and missed the truth and ate the sweet fruit of fear.

Today, looking in the rearview mirror of life, I see a kind and loving God weaving the years into a beautiful display of His goodness, and I see a woman suffering unnecessarily because she refused to be comforted by the truth:

God is good and God is here.

Even when *here* is full of a restless waiting and watching for any sign of God's plan to emerge. Because *here* so often is a trying place to live by faith.

I am doing all I can to stay focused on what's happening right here:

In the past few weeks I've moved every piece of furniture and art in the living room, painted the porch, repainted the living room, baked countless treats for friends and family, bought and sold several pieces of furniture on craigslist, and have begun the process of moving my daughter's bedroom to the playroom. I've played countless games of Scrabble and Skip-Bo, taken walks, gone to the children's museum, and spun the pedals on the elliptical machine. I've submitted an essay for publication, planned other writing projects, read multiple books, worked on planning a new Mom's group for the church, sent a bazillion emails and texts, and written discussion sheets for my Tuesday women's group.

Somewhere in the middle of all this right here, God is rising. If it seems difficult to see it today, I trust that is only because my eyes are too dull to see. His goodness is so close it could jump out and bite me, but it won't do that, of course.

There is nothing to fear, dear soul. Look for His hand pointing and His glory reigning. Wait and see, the Lord is good.

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