Wednesday, April 2, 2014

10 signs you're a dreamer trying to hack your way through the real world

I have a lot of conversations like this with my husband:

Me: "Gah, that tragedy just makes me feel like there is hope after all." 
Mr. F: "I don't understand." 
Me: "Well, if this is as bad as it gets, and we're still standing, rainbows and sparkles are possible." 
Mr. F: "I still don't understand."
Me: "I know. That's how we ended up together." 
Mr. F: {blank stare, moves on}

I confuse him. We both love it, though. I have accepted these conversations as novel little indications that we are quirky and whacked in the head, and therefore all is right in the world.

And really, it's the natural consequence of my head being constantly in the clouds and his feet rooting firmly into terra firma.

I know I'm not alone. So for all the dreamers out there, and those who try to understand them, this top ten list is for you.

10 signs you're a dreamer hacking your way through the real world:

1. Past memories and present indulgences make life better. You can't find your driver's license, health insurance card, or gym card in your purse, but you can find the hotel room key to a getaway you took with your husband last year and a random bag of gummy bears. Ah, yes, all is right in the world.

2. A bad day has to end well. So, you'll go lay next to the rascal child who, after learning there would be no dessert at lunch, threw a juice box at your face. After that you leave the last work emails for tomorrow and pin pictures of Europe to a new board called "Emails Aren't My Whole Life". Then you eat chocolate, do a set of push-ups, and call it a night. Day saved.

3. You quote books and movies throughout the day. "Aslan is on the move," you tell your soul when your boss is a jerk. "You had me at 'Hello,'" you whisper to the chocolate cake. "This is a 'horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day,'" you announce when there is poop on your sofa. These words make living life possible.

4. Even when you're happy, someone else's unhappiness can drag you down. You don't just want life to be perfect for you, you want the world to be perfect for everyone. So you cry with your friends and avoid Facebook when you can't take on the world's burdens. "Know thyself..." are words the dreamer lives by, because you rarely find others who truly understand you. (But really, you don't fully understand yourself either. It's complicated.)

5. You dislike commitment. For a dreamer, the sky is the limit. Because of this, scheduling dentist appointments, planning meetings, and oil changes is akin to shackling a unicorn to a plow. "What? Commit to do something boring on April 28th, when that may wind up being the perfect day for a water balloon war/ Popsicle party/ "paint the town red" kind of day? No way." Don't pin us down, man!

6. You can't look at old photos when you're hormonal/ already sad. The dark side of a dreamer is a thin thread of tragic melancholy. Looking at pictures of precious memories makes you long for what you can never have. That's a deep, dangerous black hole of emotion, people. Run to the light!!!

7. You spontaneously do fun things. Everybody loves this about you. Unless they need you to commit to something next month. Then they hate it. (See #5.)

8. You're obsessed with camera apps with fancy filters. Finally, you can make your real life look hazy and romantic, just like it looks in your mind, with filters like "Magic Hour", and "Sunkissed". Just don't look at those photos you-know-when. (See #6.)

9. You collect adjectives. A dress is "magnificent", an ocean view is "delicious", your husband's new suit is "dapper and fierce", and your children are making you "die a deathly and horrid death" when they break things on purpose. These words are how you see the world. They explain your soul, and you love them with everlingering adoration. (See what I did there?)

10. You have learned to be quiet around overly practical and judgemental people. It only takes a few rounds of having your winsome spirit trampled to learn to hide your precious words in journals, to quote movies only to people who will "get it", and to find the right people with whom you can be spontaneous. Dreamers often hide in plain sight. If you know one, love them and embrace their dramatic flair. Yes, your life will be more complicated, but it will also be more interesting and beautiful.

I solemnly, earnestly, and desperately promise it's true....


  1. Do you know how frequently I say "Aslan is on the move?" Kindred spirits, we are.