Or at least that's how it feels when I look at my calendar.
My time has been sliced up and there isn't nearly enough of it to go around. Failure and self-reproach are a trap for my soul, and I am pressing my need for wisdom diligently at the feet of Christ.
Frustration brews like a storm over me when I think about how I am not enough for those I love most.
My heart cries out in God's presence, "How can one woman possibly meet all these needs?"
Empty plates line up at my door, and I find I have empty hands and a plastic smile for my friends out there. I need an Elijah miracle. I need to pour the oil and have it last until the very last.
I point heavenward and trust that the God we serve, who is always more than enough, won't let us down.
"Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised.
For yet in a very little while,
He who is coming will come, and will not delay."
-Hebrews 10:35-36 (NAS)
I am down on my knees, asking God to meet me here in my weakness, in the emptiness, in this echoing cavern of need.
Be strong in us, for us, through us, Lord.
It would be easy to walk away. Simplicity is closing the empty pizza box, putting a sign on the door that says to come back never, and admitting defeat.
But we are not of those who shrink back.
It is tempting to point the finger at my own soul and open the window for the darkness to declare that I am a failure.
But I failed and died long ago, and Christ lives here now in triumphant victory.
Open the doors!
Come see my empty boxes. We will pray together for a miracle. We will declare His faithfulness to His faithful. We will not sin and say that His outpouring of love was insufficient for us.
My pizza boxes may be empty, but God's spring of living water is ever flowing to us.
Slice it up, pour it out, and serve it up victoriously, Lord.
We are all just one piece of the pie, and He is the master of multiplication.
Watch what He will do.