Tuesday, November 5, 2013

when your husband makes you cry

Usually, the message that Mr. Fantastic preaches on Sunday morning isn't exactly news to me. Often, it includes ideas and information that he has already shared with me at some point in the previous week. It helps him to process and talk through his thoughts, and I enjoy the discussion.

But last Sunday, I was blindsided.

The week was a busy one. I was away at a women's retreat. Our bedroom flooded again in a storm. It was a rough week, and I knew only a few tiny details regarding his Sunday message.

Truly, it was a beautiful work of art he presented, all about radical generosity and the way Jesus can change the world when we live for the sake of others. You can listen to the message, titled An Invitation to Hope, here.

And when he talks about orphanages in China, just imagine me on the front row, silently stifling the sobs.

I am wrecked for babies I have never met.

My heart is bound to a nation I have never visited.

You could talk about orphans in another country and I would process that information logically and maintain my composure. But for almost nine years now, I have ached for Chinese orphans.

I sat there thinking about the times we have emptied our savings account in faith. The choices we have made to live simply, the faith we have in God to provide for us supernaturally, the joy we have felt when God has used other people to meet needs in our lives.

God has never failed to amaze us. Giving and living with radical generosity is pure joy. China is somehow a part of that gospel story in our lives, but I still don't know exactly how.

It is a mysterious thing when God weaves a thread through your life that seems not to fit the circumstances and season you are currently living out. Sometimes the rhythm of your heart can seem out of step with the rhythm of your life, and yet you can know that God is directing the dance within you.

So I wait.

So I pray.

So I look to God with expectant knowledge that every radically generous move of my heart brings me one step closer to Him.

I am thankful today for a husband who talks to me about the curious way God involves Himself in our lives, and whose heart carries seeds of the same hopeful dreams that make me most alive inside.

China is something special, and someday we will understand it all better. Until that day and then forever after, our hearts are bound to God in ever increasing measure....

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